Hey guys, one of my greatest fears growing up was meeting people, because i felt every time i did, there would be someone who would say something negative about how i looked. i would either get told that i was too fat, i looked too old or i was not beautiful and the effect of those statements over the years put me in a shell that till date, i take conscious efforts everyday to break it and it’s not like these negative comments against my body has changed or stopped coming but i am learning everyday to grow above it and not to let it put me again in that self hate shell.
I used to think i was probably the only one being laughed but lately i have been reading as well as hearing a lot of people talk about their body issues whiles growing up and i have realized there may be no way to stop people from talking but i can actually get to live my life just as i am without fear of body judgement that is why my sister joined me today in showing the world that there is nothing wrong with a plussize body or any size whatsoever as long as that you are comfortable in your skin.
i was born really tiny and up until about 6 to 7 years old, i was so skinny that my mom would literally count my reflected ribs everyday and i was told i would look beautiful if i added weight so i suddenly gained all the appetite in the world and started eating and grew to a size that was bigger than other kids. i was quite excited on my weight gain but then i realized the world was’nt as happy.
Names like ‘orobo’ is a popular Nigerian term used for big people and i was constantly called that during my secondary school days and wished there would be some sort of savior who would rescue me from that name. At that time, i wanted to lose as much weight in the world but i could’nt, i had gotten so used to eating the way i did whiles trying to add the weight that i could not go back to how i used to eat but then i kept trying other means of losing weight like starving, willing to drink all sorts, exercising too hard but it was all inconsistent just because i was so keen on getting accepted in the society.
In all of these things, i hated myself so much in the process but the only thing that felt like i could love myself in, was wearing beautiful fitting clothes and makeup because those were the only times i would get complimented from people, that was how i got my long love for everything beauty and fashion because it felt like a life saver at that time and it still is but even at that, people called me ‘too old for my age’, so in essence, the name calling never truly ends with you trying to fit in.
Salome here is a beautiful micro biologist, with beautiful ambitions to be the best in her field, life and her body by living life just as she is and comfortable in her skin. She has shared her experience on name calling with me where people made her feel less in her body but she is definitely wanting to live over that and wants to spend life on her own body positive terms, without body shame.
Fashion and makeup can be a life saver only to an extent if you don’t not practice everyday to value your face & body with or without makeup and find beauty from within. A few years ago, i began to realize that there was nothing i would do to change people’s opinion about me and sometimes i would try so hard and possibly spend hours in front of my mirror, making up right, practicing how to talk or act right but it just always goes the opposite whenever i try so hard but then i kept doing it until as recent as two months ago, because i’m beginning to understand the concept of self love all over again, it is a journey truly because i know better now from three years ago when i decided to breakout of that shell which all the years of negative comments, put me in.
It is true that people all over the world say hurtful stuffs to other people but when it comes to hurtful comments about the body, it creates some sort of hole in the spirit that needs conscious breaking because it may manifest in the smallest of ways in our lives in the form of insecurities and it influences anger, body hate and comparison and sometimes you begin to dish out hate to other people because you were actually a victim of negative comments but you can break out and love yourself again.
As a Christian, i believe that Jesus has made me beautiful and sometimes it is hard to say that to yourself whenever people tell you the opposite but never take your eyes off the fact that you are beautiful. It is also true that you need to stay fit and take care of your looks but whoever comes up to you, telling you that you are not beautiful or you are not ‘the spec’ just because you are not fit, athletic, fashionable, fair in complexion, skinny or fleshy and even as much as tell you that your face is not beautiful is the biggest liar.
Negative body opinions will never stop coming but my one way of overcoming it, is to actually spend more time loving yourself by telling yourself ‘i am beautiful’ and that God would not make you this way if He did not find you good enough and even though you cannot give befitting replies to whoever makes you feel less in your body, you can at least love yourself so much that it takes your mind away from those hate words.
That is why, my sister and I, have decided to share a body positive Christmas with you, where we are unapologetic about being fit and plus, at the same time perfect in our bodies. Hold yourself responsible for how you treat yourself and not how others want you to treat yourself just to fit in. stay pinked and stay tuned to my blog 🙂
follow @babypinkblog on instagram for your every body positive reminder and fashion/beauty tips. Our cute PJ shorts are from @poundland