Before someone told me i was fat as a child, i never knew what shape i came in, neither did i sense that i was not tall enough to pass as a beauty queen or skinny enough to be in any sporting activity or games that i wanted.

i also did not know that my face was not that outstanding or beautiful enough to be on the cover of magazines, movies or TV, neither was it beautiful enough to get the most handsome boy, anyone i liked, the most popular guy in college or even get people to wow over me and want to be friends with me.

Just in time, from early ages before ten, i was made to know or rather feel this way about myself from negative comments, side talks and rejections, which left a huge scar in my mind, making me think that I was not worth anything good.

what i’m trying to say is, i was myself before i was told of these things as a child, i was my best self. there was no need to check if someone didnt find me beautiful because i believed and acted like the most beautiful and outstanding child in the world, without a thought of me lacking any features.

i would love to dress up and take beautiful pictures, climb any heights, sit on any surfaces, play any game, i was also not afraid to stand in front of the mirror or talk to anyone, neither did i see a difference between a size 6 and a size 16 look.

I always desired back then, as an 8 year old, to be like my big sis, who was like a size 12 or 14 at that time and i absolutely admired that look because i thought she was the standard for beauty, the wow kind of beautiful.💕

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Up until college, i still was not sure about how people saw my body because everytime I enter a place for the first time, i would feel beautiful and happy until someone always reminded me that I was fat or ugly, which also happened in my early days in uni.

Although i knew i was already shrunk into my shell over the years from countless people telling me i was too big and that i looked older than my age, which made me so scared to walk along the streets alone to avoid being called funny fat names and i also avoided crowded places in school and outside, so people won’t pick on my body, either sexually due to my curvier features or to mock me for being overweight and ugly.

Sometimes, i would also feel strange to walk with my peers because i was always bigger than them in every class and i avoided having any extracurricular activities with my mates so i don’t get silly remarks, either about my body or get to hear about how older i looked and there was also the fear of me going unnoticed because i thought i was not beautiful enough.

Yes, these comments messed with my mind and limited me in so many ways because I became too careful about every move and trust me, people never ceased to surprise me with horrible statements just about everytime.

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after two years in college, i began to shed alot of weight, from the stress of school work and sometimes eating just once a day, that was when i started enjoying my body, but to a very little extend though, because the weightloss was not consistent, as i kept adding and losing weight.

I noticed i could not maintain my weight and size because i was so angry with how i looked and needed to prove to people that i could be a slim size and can pass for being beautiful but the more i met new people who didnt see me in my bigger form and were still picking on my weight, made me feel even more terrible and i would easily lose the motivation to stay happy and follow my weight loss goals.

So yes, no weight loss or gain goal can function properly when you dont have the right mindset of loving and being at peace in your skin and it also boils down to standing up for yourself in any size because there is actually no end to satisfying people’s beauty standard.

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When you are at ease with your looks, you feel satisfied with any effort you take on yourself, no matter how small. It actually keeps you happy and also gives you better consistency in your body goals.

I needed to build a new mindset that would withstand these comments, that would enable me live again, as well as, get to know what I actually looked like and not what I needed to look like. The fact that i am naturally, a curvy girl, which is equally beautiful and no amount of weightloss would take it away and also, i needed to stop hating my beautiful curves just because of how people sexualized it.

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I did try so much to pass as a tall skinny girl with less boobs and bum, even though some would kill for it. i used to work so hard towards what i thought my body should look like. Things like, straighter and slimmer legs, pointed nose, cat eyes, bigger eyes, less cheeks, smaller head, bigger nose, bigger forehead, smaller hips, slimmer/slender size and basically slimmer features but with alittle flesh, you get? Actually i used to try to get it but not anymore.

Starting babypinkblog was a step to telling myself that i was fed up of all that struggle to fit in and to be liked and even though the journey to love my body as well as live life happy in my skin has not been exactly smooth or easy but i feel so at peace everytime I reminded myself that I was beautiful enough, that is why I have never let go of it, despite the several breakdowns and negative fat or old comments that role in from time to time.

Three years now, with the help my family and knowing that Jesus created be beautiful, i have found my features so appealing and enhanced because i no more want to change it, rather i set my mind on accepting them and enhancing my unique beauty for what it is.💋

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I now love my body and i know that i can never be a tall skinny girl but a curvy, thick, hot and cute girl and i tell myself that whoever sexualizes it, has a problem and it is not on me. So, I am no longer afraid to show my dot nose, hidden forehead, moderate lip/mouth, my full cheeks, a beautifully sized head and body.

The beautiful thing about accepting your body, is the fact that you always get to work on these features in order for it to look it’s best, for example, wearing beautiful shoes on those legs and walking confidently in those shoes, dressing your beautiful body, wearing nice perfumes and a moisturizing lotion or oils on your lovely skin are ways you can enhance your natural features as well as grow your mindset in loving yourself.💕

Also letting your face breathe away from makeup can be a way of loving up your natural features, whiles you take time to work up those acne and treating your natural face with good beauty products. stay tuned to my IG page @babypinkblog for tips on these things.

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I know it’s okay to like certain features on people and may want to have it but it can be a lot tormenting when you do not find yourself attractive enough or charming enough to have anything because your dont have these features.

For example, someone i really admired told me that my curves are good but i needed to have slimmer curves like some girl we both knew and also, that my curves would be attractive only when I get to her size, which is not true and definitely the best way to make me lose my any form of confidence left in me, because you know what? I could go slimmer but still not feel beautiful or as attractive as whoever you want me to look like.

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Do not be afraid to let go of those struggles, and just know that most times, no matter what you do, you cannot get rid of your own beautiful features that make you unique. Set your own body goals, find ways to love yourself through it and appreciate every stage you are in, dont let people who do not know where you’re at, make you lose your body confidence.

Your skinny features are awesome and your full framed features are no different, bigger up and a smaller down makes no difference, no legs at all? your features are uniquely beautiful, so don’t change it, enhance it. Stay pinked and stay tuned to babypinkblog 💋💕💅

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